I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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