I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
