Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
