this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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