But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
