i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
it was like eating out sand paper
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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