when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
