Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
