you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize