didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
and she was petting her beer can
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
