girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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