I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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