did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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