Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
