so that wasnt chicken after all
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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