Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This house was built for laser tag.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
