just tell him i said nine months
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
