Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
