So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
