508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
