If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
