Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
