My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I accidentally burped into my bong.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
