Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Boobs are out for the taking
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i think i just lost a toe
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
