I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
