Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
