Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
