he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
