i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
