He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
