So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
