After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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