I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it's like iHOP with fire
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
