I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
