Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
