All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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