Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize