tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
