So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
