i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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