So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
