smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
