She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
