goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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