we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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