You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize