just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
