Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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