I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
