Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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