Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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