We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
