My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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