The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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