i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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