Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I will pee on everything he values.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
