What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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