i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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