I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
