You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
