RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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