I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
