I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize