I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
