I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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