he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
