At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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