found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize