she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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