C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
