i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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