we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
