I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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