your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize