Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
