kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
