You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
