Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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