Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
