I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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