there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
